Thoughts on life, love, food, and living with Lupus

A Rough Go . . . June 23, 2021

Filed under: 2021,Life,Love — PamperedJaime @ 7:05 am
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How many of you thought on New Years’ Eve of 2020, “Nothing can be as rough as 2020? 2021 is going to be better!” That was me and my girls. It had to get better. We got through the end of my marriage and drastic, horrible changes to our family. We had to move my older daughter home after she lost her job and her school went online. Her sister lost all of her non-school life. I lost one of my jobs that was a big part of my income (scary for a single mom!) 2021 will be better! Yes it had to be . . .

Well . . . a few weeks into January 2021, not so awesome. Two daughters, 3 surgeries, 1 ambulance ride, and then . . . this last month of shock. About a month ago, there was a mass shooting in San Jose, CA. I am a Northern California girl and I was familiar with the location, but just heard about it in passing at work at the radio station. Until my Aunt called. My cousin Tim, was one of the victims. Murdered by a mad-man. He and 8 others. Just shock. Tim was a devoted husband, father, new grandpa, a son, a brother, an Air Force Veteran. My girls and I travelled to the graveside service at the National Cemetery in Santa Nella. My heart just broke when my Uncle saluted his flag draped coffin. Life is so short. My heart has just been so broken for his wife and family. For my Aunt and Uncle. Parents are not supposed to bury their child.

Last week, I found out the son of a friend, a little one who had been in several of my classes, was diagnosed with Stage 4 Leukemia. That was Wednesday. Saturday morning I received the call that he passed away. 10 years old. 2 weeks before he and his twin sister are to turn 11. The day before his younger brother’s birthday and Father’s Day. That fast. My little friend who always wanted me to create explosions in STEAM class. Life is so unfair. He was so young. I hate cancer. I hate what it brought to a young life and a young family. Shattered hearts. Parents are not supposed to bury their children.

With so much that has happened in my recent history, the message that is repeating in my mind is to spend as much time with my girls as I can, especially as they are getting very close to their turn to fly. To make sure that those around me know that I love them. To not give up on the future. Hug your loved ones. Don’t hold back on letting them know you love them. This last month has shown me how important this all is. It has been a rough go, but it will get better.


Just another Manic Monday? January 28, 2013

Filed under: 2013,Life — PamperedJaime @ 4:57 pm
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Oh boy! I might be a bit premature at writing this, but I marvel at how fast a day can go from-“Yeah, me!  I am rocking this day, I am accomplishing my list, everyone is happy”  to- “Really???  Can it get worse?”  Well the obvious answer to that is, YES!  So, I must count my blessings.  However, it is funny how an easy dentist appoiontment turns into a downward spiral consisting heavily of unrealistic fear, tears and drama of the teenage kind.  Oy! 

In my home, drama has no place, especially since it can creep in so easily.  Some might say it is cold to have to be firm with the child who is over dramatic, but I have found if you are soft and allow for the drama . . . it gets WORSE!  I have found that the non-emotional reaction works best.  When my children were little and threw a tantrum (fortunately it was not often) after they received the verbal warning, I simply walked away, even in public.  It worked every time!   I noticed that if I react, the drama level only increases.  Also, I do not deserve the disrespect that comes along with high drama level.  I feel that it is disrespectful to all involved to carry on in such a way that would frighten young and old alike.  Today, I sent her to the car while I found out there is no appointment available before the next crucial appointment, except for one tomorrow at 7:45 am that I simply cannot pull off and be in 3 different places.

Today, after the not-so-expected news from our great dentist, this was a fabulous part of my otherwise smooth afternoon.  We are all on our own private time-outs so that all nerves calm down.  Teenage daughter has been talked to by me (dad is not home yet).  Let’s hope that our evening is more pleasant than this afternoon.

Pray for me . . .


Raising children in this world . . . January 17, 2013

Filed under: 2013,Life — PamperedJaime @ 11:05 am
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A question was posed on the radio program that I listen to every morning . . . “Do you think the media- music, movies, tv, video games, etc. need more regulation to protect the children?”

Of course, being the gal that I am, I had to respond.  My answer, a big NO!  My question to those pondering this- Since everything already has ratings, why do we need MORE regulation?  Is it not the parent’s responsibility to pay attention to what their child is playing, watching and participating in?  The problem is parenting.  Too many parents are not willing to step up to the plate to do their job.  Why does a 10 year old need to watch “The Hangover”, “The New Normal” and horror films?  Why are children allowed by their parents to have a Facebook page before the legal age?  Why does a parent allow them to lie about their age in order to get one, simply because all their friends have a Facebook page?  When a parent does this, they are encouraging lying.  Lying to be able to be cool, lying in order to be like everyone else?  Why does an 11 year old need a FB page anyways?  Why don’t we teach our children the arts of communication and conversation?

Another point brought up is children and cell phones.  My children do not have one.  They are 9 and almost 14.  Here is our reasons:  Cell phones are a privlege.  We are with you at your activities.  If we are not with you and your have an emergency, go to the office, find a mom or a police officer.  You must do x,y,z, to earn this privlege, and you have not.  You are able to use the phone at home to talk to people.

One argument is what if there was an emergency at school, like the one in Conneticutt.  I have pondered this greatly.  First, too many people, parents, etc react strictly on emotion with their answer and say they want to feel better knowing their child is ok.  Here is the reality.  In the case of a lockdown, there is NO time to go to the back of the room, or in the case of my children, OUTSIDE to grab the cell phone out of the back pack.  Bad guys are not going to give you time to stop and get your phone.  In a lockdown, you could be trapped and in your hidden position for minutes or an hour, you cannot give up your location to get your phone and call mom.  I would never ask my child to do that.

Here is what we have taught our children before and after Conneticutt.  You are safe.  Your teachers, school staff, 4-H advisors, your family are always there to protect you in the event of an emergency.  Be an outstanding listener.  Listen to the adult in charge.  Always keep a calm head and do not be the cryer in the group.  If you are lost, look for a mom, a teacher, a soldier, an officer.  Be a helper.  Be a comforter.  There is and always will be evil in our world.  Be the light and know that you have been dedicated back to the Lord.  No matter what happens in your life, you are loved.

The most important thing, NEVER let FEAR take a hold of you.  Fear is not of God.  Too many people react or do nothing because they let fear take hold.  Never be afraid of the bad guys, you know what to do.

We play a game with our girls when we chat sometimes- “What would you do if . . .”  Talk about what would happen if there was a bad guy, an earthquake, a fire.  If you talk about it, the kids build confidence.  Don’t be afraid of guns, learn how to use them.  My girls take classes and they love to shoot.  Guns are not the problem, people and their hearts are the problem. 

Choose what you see, hear, think and do.  Everything is a choice.  God gave us all free will.  It can be a blessing or a curse.  What do you chose to do with it?

Parenting is a job and a responsibility.  I am accountable for how my children turn out.  I am responsible for everything they do until they are of age and on their own.  I do not take this job lightly.  My children are not a pain, they are not an accessory, they are not to be cast aside.  They are my joy and blessings.  I chose to give birth to them, and when I did, I accepted all the work that cam along with them.